Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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