i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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