In the future we'll all be gay
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
