U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
