DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
