Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
