there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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