when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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