pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
