It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
