I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
