I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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