You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
