Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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