I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
