Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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