i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
