I wish I could punch you in the face.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just google imaged poop.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My boob is missing a layer of skin
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