So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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