I think I died a long time ago.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
