I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
