remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
