And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
