why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Actions speak louder than pants.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
