anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
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