I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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