i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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