now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i will never coherently bang her
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
