she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
