walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
it glows. i had to have it.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
