Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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