coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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