This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
