3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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