For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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