We're like a lot better than the average bears
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
COCAINE IS GR8
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
