there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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