I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
