Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
