After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
