so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
