Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
