I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
