Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i came on her dog
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
