Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
