I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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