somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
