party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
