Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My life is pants optional.
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