so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
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